The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. The (mis)adventure of moving took place over the course of two weeks. It was unexpected, daunting, and not something I care to repeat any time soon.
The idea of packing up all your “worldly” possessions into boxes, bins, and wrapped up in blankets is overwhelming and decidedly confrontational. As you pack, the sheer mass of “things” you own makes itself so abundantly clear. I found myself feeling defensive over what I owned. As my boyfriend hauled things to the car, he didn’t say a word of complaint. I know he wasn’t even judging me, but here I was projecting my own sense of disgust over how much I possessed onto him. Over and over, I said, “I use that,” or, “but, I love that,” somehow trying to justify to myself why I owned the things I do. Not to my boyfriend, but to me.
Now that the majority of the dust has settled, the hallways have been mostly cleared, the recycling bins mostly filled, I’m back to looking at my possessions and thinking, “It doesn’t seem like so much to own.” It’s all put away, found a new home, so how much could there have been?
I snap myself back to reality. I close my eyes and I can still see the boxes. I think back to yesterday, and I can feel hands holding something, my mind wondering, “Where do I put you?”
Today, I’m taking a mental health day. I was supposed to have a vacation last week, but thanks to the unexpected move, my vacation did not happen. This morning is the first morning where I’ve even had an opportunity to just sit.
And then I have to laugh, because I came across my list of things that I’d been planning on doing during my time off and the irony is really not lost:
- Go through the house, purge things I don’t use or don’t want.
- Pare down my wardrobe, donate items that don’t fit anymore.
- Get rid of shoes I haven’t worn in a year.
- Plan for moving in the spring.
- Go paperless as much as possible.
Needless to say, when I have a chance, I’m going to schedule another vacation so I can do what I wanted to do in the first place. I’m turning 30 in March, maybe that will be a good time to divest myself of the burden of too many possessions.