Closet Music

We all have it. They’re those tracks you downloaded off some shady website. You had to download them. If you were caught buying them at a legit store or even if someone noticed them in your iTunes purchase history, my god, the embarrassment you’d face.

It’s like buying embarrassing things at the drug store. “Please don’t look me in the eye… It’s none of youe business what issue I’m having…”

We all think it when someone picks up our iPods and starts flipping through the music collection. It’s a basic truth, what music someone listens to says a lot about their personality. But we’re still sitting there cringing and chanting in our head, “Please don’t notice my bad music… Please don’t notice my bad music… Please don’t notice my bad music…”

I think it’s time I admit it. Here are my ten favourite closet songs:

I admit it. I adore her.

And then, of course, the blondes have it:

But sometimes a ridiculous dance beat will be just what I’m in the mood for, so Mel C, I turn to you:

And then – you’re not going to believe this, but…

I know what you’re saying… “But Jillian, you hate Katy Perry!” I do. She’s awful. I don’t think there’s a stupider person on this planet. But, the beat of this song… Sigh. Stupid pop music.

Which leads to…

And I can’t help it, I still love this:

Which always reminds me of:

Three are times when I just need to listen to garbage music. And it’s great in it’s own way. Look at Ke$ha, for example. Her whole persona is a hot mess. But she knows how to string it along and is completely in on the joke. So, I will rock out to her music any chance I get.

And that would be when no one’s looking.

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